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A visionary whose brilliant hindsight into the obvious along with his unsurpassed ability to blame others for his failures, Michael Wiederman is a man driven by the fact that he can make more off unemployment than by actually finding work.

Raised in Brooklyn, NY by a working class Italian family, the family eventually became fed up with taking care of Michael and returned him to his natural parents who at the time were hiding out from bookies at a deli in Secaucus, NJ.

Growing up, Michael was constantly harassed, beaten and robbed for his comic book money by black, Puerto Rican and Anti-Semitic kids from the nearby Catholic school on a regular basis.

After several failed attempts by his mother to abandon him at a South Bronx Laundromat, Michael's family decided to relocate to Southern California when he was 12. Unbeknownst to them, Michael found his way to the airport just as they were boarding the plane so they had no choice but to bring him along.

Not unlike his childhood, during Michael's High School tenure he was the victim of continuous torment from other students, bullies as well as a couple of questionable science teachers. Fortunately for Michael his athletic prowess allowed him to become an outstanding contributor to his school's championship baseball team where he was utilized as a bat.

Upon graduating High School, after being forced out due to exceeding the age limit for seniors, Michael scored an impressive 1500 on his SATs. As a result, he was accepted to a prestigious Ivy League school where he was immediately expelled after it was later revealed that his high score was a combination of 4 attempts.

He went on to enroll at one of the finest Junior Colleges in Long Beach, CA where during his tenure Michael continued to hone his skills as a bat (this time in the role of Captain) for the baseball team while at the same time attempting to explore other interests and talents less painful.

Frustrated with his inability to help his school win a championship, Michael received his Liberal Arts degree and then was rejected from a California State University where, after releasing some questionable photos of faculty members to the Dean and signing several legal documents, he was allowed to attend.

While holding down a full-time job as a security guard at a drive through library while also maintaining a G.P.A. of -2.97, Michael eventually received a degree in Communications where he immediately scratched out the recipient's name and wrote in his own, spelling it incorrectly in the process.

Once out of school, Michael's true potential as a visionary was realized by others when a bidding war was initiated for his services. After lengthy negotiations with a well respected and overrated advertising agency in Orange County, California, Michael agreed to join them only after a substantial upfront bonus was paid. So after pawning off his deceased father's antique watch and World War II medals Michael was able to pay the bonus and soon began work.

The first to utilize symbolic visuals in ads, Michael's first campaign was for a new car company ready to compete in the market. Never to play it safe, Michael envisioned the decapitation of a six year old girl's head as it passed under a low tunnel as its sub textual image. His concept was not only revolutionary but so was his innovation to use a real girl instead of a dummy for the actual beheading.

Unfortunately, consumers did not identify with Michael's vision as the commercial failed to live up to its potential and the car company was forced to merge with a well-known pizza chain as now a fleet of delivery vehicles. With the child labor division of the Screen Actors Guild threatening a lawsuit, Michael was fired from his job.

As agencies continued to fear the inflated insurance costs of bringing him on, Michael couldn't locate work in the advertising field and was forced to take on a series of odd jobs. He was eventually fired from each one including a brief stint as a mannequin at a department store where he was accused of sexual harassing several other displays.

With no goals, drive or even ambition to speak of, Michael attempted to break into the entertainment field as a screenwriter where he has penned several films in a broad range of genres from suspense-drama to romantic comedies featuring light cannibalism as its core.

In his spare time Michael enjoys getting to know small children while their parents aren't around, ridiculing the mentally retarded as well as dabbling in midget snuff films.

Michael currently resides in Southern California in a friend's condo where if his friend ever found out about it would immediately ask him to leave.


Introduction | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Site Map | Links

Michael Wiederman
562-596-9570 (home)
562-234-3919 (cell)